Dungeon Gacha Life Chapter 29

 Chapter 29: There Is No Gacha God

After that, same as always, I took a taxi home.

Now I was lying on the couch, catching my breath.

In the end, after all that, Shimotsuki-san had accepted the invitation.

A swimsuit date. Hell yeah.

"Hey, Lapis, think you could catch a cold that day?"

"Don't try to leave me out!!"

Just a joke. About half of it.

"Some of your real feelings are mixed in there too!?"

Lapis was once again thunderstruck.

Well, no doubt it'd be more fun with her along too.

"Looking forward to it."

Those words slipped out on their own.

Apparently I was in pretty high spirits.

At the latest, I'd need to go buy a swimsuit tomorrow.

I hadn't been to a pool since my gym class in high school.

"Now that I think about it..."

After thinking about it, suddenly it hit me all at once.

What was Lapis supposed to wear?

"You don't have a swimsuit or anything, do you?"

"Ah... now that you mention it..."

I spoke gently to Lapis who was looking stunned.

"Don't worry, I'll bring back a souvenir."

"No way! I'm coming! I'm going to swim too, you know!?"

"Come on, we need to have some manners. Swimming in your regular clothes would be a nuisance to everyone else."

I doubt "well, she's a tiny fairy, so it's fine!" would fly.

Well, it's not like I had no other options at all... I just wasn't thrilled about any of them.

"That face means you've got some kind of plan, doesn't it?"

Lapis picked up on it, reading it right off my face.

"I figured there's probably a doll swimsuit somewhere in your size."

I don't really know the ins and outs but I figure if I look, there's probably something out there.

Still, going to buy one in person felt abit too much and having doll outfits showing up in my online order history didn't sit right either.

"That's it! Let's go with that! Come on, Touya-san, get your phone out, let's search together!"

"Hey, back off, calm down. There's still another option."

Peeling the fairy off my face where she'd latched on, I laid out my other idea.

"From the last scouting to Floor 20, along with the monsters I killed on the way to the boss room this time and two Minotaurs' worth of experience, I've got a fair bit stored up."

I hadn't pulled the Gacha even once during any of that.

So my Level had climbed all the way up to 31 by now.

Sure, beating the boss twice was part of it but Triple EXP Gain was doing some real work too.

"So that means I can do a Ten-Pull Gacha about three times over."

"T-Touya-san... don't tell me!?"

Yeah, exactly that.

Operation: Pull Lapis a swimsuit from the Gacha.

* * *

My Unique Skill, Gacha, was stingy, plain and simple.

After all, I'd pulled it something like 400 times by now and not once had I gotten an SSR.

This was to the point of consumer-hotline-complaint territory.

And yet Lapis-exclusive items came out of the SR tier at an almost comical rate.

Same with the R-tier snack set. That one basically shows up as a guaranteed.

Between Lapis's existence and items that basically scream "here's your reward," I couldn't help suspecting whoever ran this Gacha somehow knows about my situation.

So partly as a test of that theory, I figured I'd go after a "SR Lapis-Exclusive Swimsuit".

"By the way, if this doesn't work out, you're not getting in the water, you know?"

"That's just cruel!?"

I made sure to pile the pressure on Lapis properly.

Heh heh heh. So, devs? At this rate, your favorite little creation's going to end up sad and left out, isn't she?

"Three Ten-Pulls though... I'll probably only get three SRs out of it so this is probably a lost cause."

"Gacha god! Please! Please give me a swimsuit!!"

Lapis pressed her hands together in prayer and looked up at the sky.

Yeah, I guess that's really what gacha is supposed to be about.

I'd been grinding purely for the pity cap for so long that I'd gone numb to that part of it.

"Come on, Touya-san, you pray too! Let's raise our Gacha power together!"

What's this mysterious energy supposed to be.

First time I'm hearing of it.

Ignoring Lapis who was spouting that nonsense, I opened my Status.

――――――――――――――――――

【Name】Suzukaze Touya

――――――――――――――――――

【Lv】31

【HP】497/497

【MP】424/424

【STR】76+105

【VIT】62+96

【AGI】71+99

【DEX】60+96

【INT】81+120

【MND】97+126

――――――――――――――――――

【SP】100

――――――――――――――――――

Unlike usual, my Level had climbed all the way to 31 this time.

My stats had turned into something ridiculous.

Even a rough calculation put my total stats at somewhere around what you'd expect from Level 85.

No wonder holding back against the Mino had been such a pain.

Once I pushed on into Floor 21, my Status would only keep climbing more from there.

The deeper the floor, the stronger the monsters and the more experience they were worth.

Which meant I'd be pulling the Gacha more often too and my stat boosts from Orbs would also speed up right along with it.

For the time being, I planned to hold off on pushing to new floors.

But I had absolutely no intention of slacking off on strengthening my Status.

So that even if, by some remote chance, my abnormality got found out, I could still stand by my own convictions.

Never draw attention.

But grow stronger, steadily without fail.

* * *

And finally, I was moving up to C-Rank.

That meant, socially too, I'd be recognized as a full-time professional Explorer.

Three months since I'd become an Explorer back in May.

For someone who'd botched his job hunt, I'd say that's pretty good going.

From here on, my income would keep climbing and my working conditions were staying nice and "white".

I was also now in a position where I could openly say "I'm an Explorer" and actually earn people's trust for it.

After all, C-Rank Explorers and above were the modern equivalent of the old frontier guards.

Now I could finally report this to my parents with my head held high.

Last time I'd been in touch, I'd been buried under nothing but rejection emails.

I should go show my face before too long.

They'd probably be shocked at seeing Lapis.

As for the money they sent me... maybe it's about time I turned that down.

If things kept going, I might end up out-earning my dad before too long anyway.

...Maybe around the end of the year, I could get them a hot spring trip as a present or something.

I bet they'd be happy about that.

Alright, I'll keep that in mind.

While I was mulling all that over idly, someone suddenly tugged at my clothes.

I looked over and there was the Gacha fairy, whose eyes are dead set.

"Touya-san, I've finished praying. Let's pull the Gacha."

Her eyes were dead serious.

What now. This really wasn't the kind of mood where I could say "just kidding" at this point.

Well, it's not like I didn't have my own reasons for wanting to do this too.

"Alright, here we go! Operation: Get My Swimsuit!!"

At Lapis pumping her fist in the air, I let out a wry laugh.

I tapped the Ten-Pull Gacha option on my Status.

"—There is no god in this world!!"

Lapis who was looking about ready to weep tears of blood, howled up at the sky.

Prayed to a moment ago and then denied outright the next. Rough life, being a god.

In the end, after thirty pulls there was no swimsuit.

Guess my prediction was off. I'd been sure this was the kind of thing that would just pop out easily.

I guess the "the devs are watching me" theory is on hold for now.

"Touyaaa-saaan..."

More importantly, right now I had to deal with a Gacha fairy who looked ready to come haunt my nightmares.

Your eyes are terrifying. And don't slump against me like that!

"Buy me a swimsuit, pleeease..."

Finally, she latched onto my chest and started crying softly.

".........Sigh."

I pulled out my phone and started searching for doll-sized swimsuits.